Sixth Week of Lent

Note: this will be the last Lent reflection; next week is Holy Week; time to be quiet [if not silent].

uno. I lost my twin. His name is Frank Martinez. He's been at Microsoft since I joined the company, working in the Spain subsidiary. This week he announced he was leaving the company to retire in southern Spain. Now I will be the only frank martinez at Microsoft. It was an odd shock; made me feel empty at some level, like I had lost a part of my soul. Frank has always been there, we've exchanged mails over the years [but never met in person]. My friend Pedro has met him, apparently he's a very nice man, big family, originally from El Paso. Sometimes his mail would be sent to me by accident; I would chuckle [occasionally it was personal, and intimate].

We talked about a Frank Martinez reunion in the south of Spain someday in the future.

dos. Gospel of Judas discovered. Apparently Christ asked Judas to betray Him, to fulfill the divine plan. We shouldn't be surprised. Did we really think Jesus pulled a name out of a hat, to choose who from his closest allies would betray him? What's sad about this new discovery is how it probably doesn't change most folks impression of Judas; he will continue to be thought of as a pawn to Satan; an evil man who did a terrible thing to the Son of Man, then died ugly [hung himself] to preserve justice.

Yet what if Judas actually loved Christ more than the others? What if he pleaded with Jesus not to be chosen as the one to betray Him? Perhaps he agonized before Good Friday knowing the teacher he loved; the teacher who had revealed the ultimate plan would die from his act; his teacher's blood would drip from the kiss on the cheek.

It also makes me wonder about the private moments with Christ, what did his voice sound like, what did His hands feel like; what was it like to look into His eyes? He lead by example but He also lead by relationship. From what we can gather in the ancient texts His followers were independent, strong willed people. They needed something more than sweeping generalities to draw them into the divine mysteries. Perhaps this occurred in the quiet moments; when Christ spoke to them face to face, away from the crowds.

tres. Homework folks [work with me here]. This week bring your most inner pain to The Cross. What's the one thing blocking you from emerging as the brightest star? What keeps you up at night or what brings fear to your heart? When you crave, is it for a single thing [or wish]? Bring it forward. Perhaps you can't even describe it, but you can feel it deep inside. Freedom is there, waiting to release you. Bring it forward.

quatro. I have this dream... one day all weapons will disappear. We have only our bare bodies to combat with each other. Years ago I had this girlfriend who had a rule in relationships - if you have to fight, fight naked. Made sense to me, cuz fighting naked leads to better things :}

Let's give up trying to figure out why we fight. How we fight might need revisiting.

cinco. Buck Owens died. Remember, I was raised on a steady diet of "Hee Haw" and "Lawrence Welk". The influence on my adult life cannot be ignored. Most folks don't realize he was a great guitar player first, and continued to be throughout his career. It would be a small honor to learn some Buck covers, play them for Chula.

The guitar brings great comfort to my hands, a needed contrast from the keyboard/mouse.

ses. For better or worse we've allowed Memphis to become invested in the Miyazaki films; like "My Friend Totoro", "Howl's Moving Castle", "Kiki's Delivery Service" distributed via Studio Ghibli. The stories are so rich in detail [and nuance] told through spectacular animation, yet different than the Pixar films [both studios are superb animation teams BTW].

Deborah commented on how Miyazaki's films include redemption as a central theme. This makes me wonder about Judas; how he could have never been allowed to live a normal life after Christ's death [if allowed to live at all]. Remember doubting Thomas? What role would Judas have played after the resurrection had he lived; if not a strong ally to incubate the early church?

siete. A concord grape vine I planted on the eastside of the property seems to be making it. It was a hard winter, that side of the property is completely unprotected from the weather we receive on the hill [lots of wind]; but this single vine is hanging in there. Other than Chula it's the only living reminder I have of Sunnyside, growing up in paradise. Understand Thomas has vines from the farm [if I wanted a more authentic remembrance].

Sometimes I wonder if we can every return [as a family] to farming, living off the land. We're so removed from that life; like it never happened. The roots are there; I've seen lovely gardens visiting relatives over the years; clearly some of us have the gift to grow anything from the earth. Perhaps there's a difference between growing in pleasure [or peace] as opposed to having to survive from the garden's yield. A balance to consider.

ocho. Appreciate the patience in allowing me to share personal thoughts during Lent. So much change in the world, and in our daily lives. If it were possible to share these thoughts with every member of the family, I would have. You all remain in my heart, an extension of who I am.

con paz,
frank

Making it easier on the phone

Editor's note: a rare technology-centric entry until I can setup my own tech blog.

Have you seen the new Zillow site? It's a very cool use of Google Maps data, overlayed with real estate information. Unfortunately it best viewed on a traditional web browser, i.e. PC or [cough] Mac. This is unfortunate because some of us like to use our phones to browse web sites; and we expect even data-rich sites to play friendly.

So I need to develop a fix for this dilemna; create a mobile version which can easily [and quickly] be browsed from smartphone or PocketPC. Now here's where you can help:

• What Zillow features are a must have?
• Are the map images critical?
  
• Is navigation better using hyperlinks or scrolling down a long narrow page?

Answers to the above questions will help shape a prototype percolating in the brain.

Con paz,
frank

Fifth Week of Lent

uno. I would be remiss not to reflect on the shooting incident on Capital Hill last weekend. This story is sad on many levels; can't think of them all and will not attempt to cover more than a few areas.

One thing which occurred to me is how to interpret the rules of membership; specifically between minors and adults. Minors are essentially powerless to control the resources adults generally take for granted. Under 16 they cannot drive; they usually have little or no access to money and even if physically mature they are not emotionally ready to navigate the complexities of adult urban life.

Given all of the above [and more], there is an unstated contract which requires adults to care for minors in their environment - it's just what a civilized society does. For an adult to treat a minor as a peer is out-of-balance; leads to a breakdown of the unstated contract to seek the care of the minor as preeminent. So often - and clearly this was the case on Capital Hill last weekend - there is an implicit trust of the adults, from the minors point of view. When those teenagers walked into that house, after the rave party had ended; they carried certain expectations about how they would be treated. And their hosts , again from the minors point of view, were to honor these expectations.

So as the membership lines blur; where minors enter a world beyond their years, and adults are hosts to [essentially] children, may Our Father guard each to be stewards of a delicate but foundational relationship.

Now it's time to go off on the NRA. This man clearly had the will to kill but almost as important he had the means. The apex of his rage met with the tools of destruction; perhaps one fueling the other until it could not be contained. We may never know what set off the time bomb in his psyche but we can be absolutely certain of the mechanism. I would be interested to hear the NRA defend the recreational use of a pistol grip 12-guage shotgun. What sort of recreational activities does this sort of weapon require; other than pure destruction?

Christ was tempted in the desert; Satan offered the world, dominion and power over the world if Christ would bow to the fallen angel. Christ did not and we are asked in faith to follow the same decision against temptation. Yet guns seem to be the same temptation wrought on man to manufacture the illusion of power. What is a man with a pistol grip 12-guage shotgun amongst teenagers if not powerful [at least in the narrowest sense from within a selfish perspective]? What voices of artificial dominion haunted this man moments before he executed the will of this dillusional power?

Now the ultimate kneeling of my heart is to have mercy for this killer, for the tortured soul used to destroy other souls. Unfortunately I can't go there right now because it hurts to think about each of the young lives lost, imagining how Deborah and I would feel if it was our personal loss. Oh Father please have mercy on those families as they suffer so deeply.

And the vanity of guns extends to higher levels; when nations engage in war as a form of artificial power. Is power the opposite of peace? Is man seeking to control the illusion of power the opposite of peace? When a nation sends young men and women to a foriegn land to kill other young men and women, we load the weapons [so to speak] of abusive power. More to pray on.

dos. Father Harbaugh asked us to remember the homily he shared heading into Lent; can't remember it word for word but it was related to lamenting the condition of all people, remembering some do suffer, whether we like it or not. And sometimes those who suffer we may not like, or love. It's not going to be easy serving; especially serving those who are not whom we would choose to serve. This is conviction because it makes me think I don't have the right to be served; came here [existence] to serve. My heart should be beating to the drum of social justice; essentially the training I received as child to Chula. This was and is her life. Watch how she gives, how she has always given - even those she may not like.

tres. The guitar sits in the corner of the dining room. Why did it appear during Lent? This will be lifted in prayer. I want to learn how to play this instrument to express the deepest prayer; the wailing of our elders who have voices eternally calling out through each of us. They lived before us not by chance but by design. We can't run away from who they are or what they did on their best/worst days. It's one of the sad tragedies of our extended family, we know so little beyond a few incomplete stories. There are whispers of names and meaning behind the names but the whole story is a complete mystery. So let the mystery sing it's song; and we play music to pass it on.

quatro. Roman politics at work; at work. I was taught to seek leadership but question those who claim to lead us. Never take the command of a strong voice as final, or right. My place of work is the complete arc of these concepts played out; with characters drawn from blank pages trying to fill in with color. There is one good man in this realm who has become a member of our family through action as the support of each word. He has done what he says. I admire those who humble themselves before the priority of family - hard as this is on a daily basis - and quietly set it in motion as the model to follow. Again, this is rare in my place of work.

cinco. The leak stopped; thanks to Dennis and Denny. It was like Chinese torture; a constant flow of drips to drill into the mind and stir thoughts of torn down walls. Now we are [at least with this area of the remodel] at peace. Energy can be focused on other anxieties.

ses. Easter will be here soon. I miss you all. Can we still try to pray together; and for the children, fill baskets with goodies from the lawn? There's plenty.

See you next week. Con paz.

frank